I knew it. I knew it!
Jan. 30th, 2009 07:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sailorhathorI don't know where people get this "unemployment is 80% of your original wages" stuff because around here, at least, it's apparently not. I got my Statement of Unemployment Benefits thing today and my original calculations were correct. I'll only be getting 50% of my original wages while on unemployment. Far below what I need to survive. If I had known this, I would have done so many things differently. But, I didn't. I KNEW this was going to go wrong; I had a bad feeling and I just knew that things being okay for me without a job was just too good to be true. But I was trying to be positive and believe the things everyone was telling me. I have a few options, and I'm okay for now, but if I don't have a job by the end of February, I'm pretty screwed. Maybe, maybe I can make it through March if I'm really careful. But, yeah, I wish I'd known this earlier. Oh well! Big sha-rug. We can't go back in time and fix things and it does us no good to focus on what we should have done when we didn't have the knowledge to do it right.
This is for all you guys who wuv and care about me and want to be there for me: I need everyone to be positive. Telling me how screwed I am and being depressive about it and telling me how hard it's going to be does me NO GOOD. It only makes me depressed and panicky and then I have panic attacks and cry and feel hopeless and I can't find a job when I'm completely freaking out. I can't think and not thinking leads to unemployed Laurel. Don't overload me with information, don't tell me I have to do it NOW NOW NOW, don't tell me how many people are fighting for the same jobs I am, those things don't help me stay positive. They just make me panic. Just please tell me I'm a good worker and that someone is going to be proud to have me as an employee and that I'm going to be okay. I need to hear positive things to make it through this.
I also need occassional distractions. All work and no play make Laurel a panicked girl. Sometimes, I need a break and I need some fun. So, I'm going to talk about last night's "Supernatural" now. Spoilers for SPN "After School Special."
I love Wee!chesters episodes. I love getting a glimpse into Sam and Dean's past. I was a little worried about their casting choices when I heard about them because the kid who played Sam seemed way too young to be playing a 13 year old, and I had seen pictures of the guy who would be playing Dean and thought he looked dangerously feminine, but it all turned out alright. Colin Ford did a good job of playing teenage Sam and Brock Kelly did pretty good with Dean as well. Truthfully, though, I had another actor in mind for teen Dean, and here he is:
This is Daniel Clark from "Degrassi: The Next Generation." He's just got that rebel teen!Dean look for me. Very good looking, wears the "I'm too cool to give a shit" attitude like a glove, looks beautiful when he's sad/cries, he's just perfect for the role for me. Not that Brock didn't do a good job, but... I would have been ecstatic if Daniel Clark had handled the role. I mean, they can't go back in time and get teen Jensen Ackles, so this would have been the next best thing. It was like, that jacket seemed to swallow Brock. I don't know if he's built at all because I haven't seen enough pictures, but I wanted someone a little more obviously built for the role, and I know Daniel has the right sort of body to play someone who could kick your ass. Brock, I'm just not sure. Anyway, no sense in dwelling on something I can't change, I'm just playing with fantasy casting. :)
The writers are so mean to Dean. XD I'd love to see some happy times from the Wee!chesters past, but these angsty moments are great too. I loved the scene where Dean was trying to make his life sound so great, how his father's never around so he can do whatever he wants, how he has no curfew, his awesome setup at the Pines Hotel, and Amanda's WTF?? reaction to all of it. The outsider POV was nice and has been needed on the show for a long time. I mean, their childhoods had no stability. It was sad and wrong and such interesting conflict. I can see many teenagers thinking Dean's setup is cool, but anyone who spends a lot of time with him and cares a lot about him is eventually going to say hey, this isn't good. A kid needs his parents around, a kid needs an adult figure to be there for him.
Then there's the scene near the end where Dean gets caught making out with another girl in the custodian's closet and Amanda tells him off. "You seemed different. I thought maybe there was something behind the cool act, something deeper, like how you are with your brother. But you're just sad and lonely." OUCHIE. Dean didn't want to hear that. And Dean's reaction: "You don't know me. I save people. I'm a hero!" It's true that Dean is sad and lonely, but it's also true that he is the loving, deep person Amanda saw when Dean was looking after Sam by himself. He is a hero, and he's also someone who would sleep around with more than one girl because he knows he won't be staying. Dean was just trying to protect himself emotionally. He can't get close to any girl because his father's just going to yank him out of that area and move on again. But Amanda can't know any of those things. Sam and Dean weren't allowed to tell people the truth about their lives. I felt so bad for poor Dean as he walked out of that school, feeling like no one could ever really know him but his family.
Oh, and the scene where Dean acted as a substitute gym teacher, heeheeheeheeheehee! I just laughed and laughed throughout that entire scene. "The whistle makes me their god." And the gym clothes Dean had to wear, with the headband. XD The way he just threw the balls into the air and went, "Go crazy," when Sam walked into the gym, needing to talk to him. XD It was all so funny.
There were a couple other scenes that made me laugh a lot, even though one wasn't really supposed to be funny. One was just after the kid put the other kid's hand in the blender, and Sam ran over and saw the ectoplasm leaking out of the kid's ear, Sam has no lines, so he expresses everything he's feeling through his facial expressions. Jared pretty much goes through his entire arsenal of puppy dog looks. It cracked me up. XD It just struck me as funny, him going through so many different facial expressions in the span of only a few seconds. :D
The other part that made me laugh was just after Dean burned Dirk's hair and the possessed guy fell on Sam, and Sam makes all these funny noises, like, "Get him off me, man." It was humorous. :)
It's still bugging me that they made ectoplasm black. I wonder if there's some reason for that. Did white just not work for them for some reason? Did it not show up on film as well? Did they think it looked like someone gave the kid an earjob? What? It always confuses me. I'm like what's that black stuff coming out of her nose? Is that how the demon moves from one person to another? But no, it's ectoplasm. Okay, whatever you saaaaay ectoplasmiswhite.
The only thing that would have made the episode perfect was CASTIEEEEEEEEL whenishecomingbackI'msufferingfromCastielwithdrawals.
This is for all you guys who wuv and care about me and want to be there for me: I need everyone to be positive. Telling me how screwed I am and being depressive about it and telling me how hard it's going to be does me NO GOOD. It only makes me depressed and panicky and then I have panic attacks and cry and feel hopeless and I can't find a job when I'm completely freaking out. I can't think and not thinking leads to unemployed Laurel. Don't overload me with information, don't tell me I have to do it NOW NOW NOW, don't tell me how many people are fighting for the same jobs I am, those things don't help me stay positive. They just make me panic. Just please tell me I'm a good worker and that someone is going to be proud to have me as an employee and that I'm going to be okay. I need to hear positive things to make it through this.
I also need occassional distractions. All work and no play make Laurel a panicked girl. Sometimes, I need a break and I need some fun. So, I'm going to talk about last night's "Supernatural" now. Spoilers for SPN "After School Special."
I love Wee!chesters episodes. I love getting a glimpse into Sam and Dean's past. I was a little worried about their casting choices when I heard about them because the kid who played Sam seemed way too young to be playing a 13 year old, and I had seen pictures of the guy who would be playing Dean and thought he looked dangerously feminine, but it all turned out alright. Colin Ford did a good job of playing teenage Sam and Brock Kelly did pretty good with Dean as well. Truthfully, though, I had another actor in mind for teen Dean, and here he is:
This is Daniel Clark from "Degrassi: The Next Generation." He's just got that rebel teen!Dean look for me. Very good looking, wears the "I'm too cool to give a shit" attitude like a glove, looks beautiful when he's sad/cries, he's just perfect for the role for me. Not that Brock didn't do a good job, but... I would have been ecstatic if Daniel Clark had handled the role. I mean, they can't go back in time and get teen Jensen Ackles, so this would have been the next best thing. It was like, that jacket seemed to swallow Brock. I don't know if he's built at all because I haven't seen enough pictures, but I wanted someone a little more obviously built for the role, and I know Daniel has the right sort of body to play someone who could kick your ass. Brock, I'm just not sure. Anyway, no sense in dwelling on something I can't change, I'm just playing with fantasy casting. :)
The writers are so mean to Dean. XD I'd love to see some happy times from the Wee!chesters past, but these angsty moments are great too. I loved the scene where Dean was trying to make his life sound so great, how his father's never around so he can do whatever he wants, how he has no curfew, his awesome setup at the Pines Hotel, and Amanda's WTF?? reaction to all of it. The outsider POV was nice and has been needed on the show for a long time. I mean, their childhoods had no stability. It was sad and wrong and such interesting conflict. I can see many teenagers thinking Dean's setup is cool, but anyone who spends a lot of time with him and cares a lot about him is eventually going to say hey, this isn't good. A kid needs his parents around, a kid needs an adult figure to be there for him.
Then there's the scene near the end where Dean gets caught making out with another girl in the custodian's closet and Amanda tells him off. "You seemed different. I thought maybe there was something behind the cool act, something deeper, like how you are with your brother. But you're just sad and lonely." OUCHIE. Dean didn't want to hear that. And Dean's reaction: "You don't know me. I save people. I'm a hero!" It's true that Dean is sad and lonely, but it's also true that he is the loving, deep person Amanda saw when Dean was looking after Sam by himself. He is a hero, and he's also someone who would sleep around with more than one girl because he knows he won't be staying. Dean was just trying to protect himself emotionally. He can't get close to any girl because his father's just going to yank him out of that area and move on again. But Amanda can't know any of those things. Sam and Dean weren't allowed to tell people the truth about their lives. I felt so bad for poor Dean as he walked out of that school, feeling like no one could ever really know him but his family.
Oh, and the scene where Dean acted as a substitute gym teacher, heeheeheeheeheehee! I just laughed and laughed throughout that entire scene. "The whistle makes me their god." And the gym clothes Dean had to wear, with the headband. XD The way he just threw the balls into the air and went, "Go crazy," when Sam walked into the gym, needing to talk to him. XD It was all so funny.
There were a couple other scenes that made me laugh a lot, even though one wasn't really supposed to be funny. One was just after the kid put the other kid's hand in the blender, and Sam ran over and saw the ectoplasm leaking out of the kid's ear, Sam has no lines, so he expresses everything he's feeling through his facial expressions. Jared pretty much goes through his entire arsenal of puppy dog looks. It cracked me up. XD It just struck me as funny, him going through so many different facial expressions in the span of only a few seconds. :D
The other part that made me laugh was just after Dean burned Dirk's hair and the possessed guy fell on Sam, and Sam makes all these funny noises, like, "Get him off me, man." It was humorous. :)
It's still bugging me that they made ectoplasm black. I wonder if there's some reason for that. Did white just not work for them for some reason? Did it not show up on film as well? Did they think it looked like someone gave the kid an earjob? What? It always confuses me. I'm like what's that black stuff coming out of her nose? Is that how the demon moves from one person to another? But no, it's ectoplasm. Okay, whatever you saaaaay ectoplasmiswhite.
The only thing that would have made the episode perfect was CASTIEEEEEEEEL whenishecomingbackI'msufferingfromCastielwithdrawals.
