Micro Movie Reviews
Jun. 5th, 2010 10:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sailorhathorI forgot to do my Micro Movie Reviews in my last post.
"The Haunting of Molly Hartley" - The only good thing about this movie is there was a character in it named LAUREL for about five minutes. WOOHOO! Otherwise, boring and slow. I kept waiting for something to actually happen and realized in shock that 45 minutes had gone by. Eesh. It seemed like the entire point of the movie was to see Molly get startled repeatedly and then hyperventilate. Poor Joe from "Medium" who I love on that show, your movie sucked.
"Drag Me to Hell" - If it's any indication how much I didn't like this, the disc was in bad condition (it was SCRATCHED UP TO HELL) and I cared so little about the movie that I didn't bother sending it back to Netflix for a replacement copy, even though the scratched portion took up about 1/3rd of the story. Pbbbt, who cares. I thought it might have some potential until the old lady showed up in the dumb bitch's car and ATTACKED HER. Went a bit far for me. It just got stupider from there.
It's a shame, too, because the title's pretty cool.
"The Box" - ...... what were they thinking?
That should be all I need to say, but I want revenge, so I must say more. This movie is based on an old Richard Matheson sci-fi story from either the late 60's or early 70's, can't remember. They made it into a 20-minute segment of "The Twilight Zone 1980's" ("Button Button") which was far superior to this piece of crap film. Why was it better? They gave it a real punch of an ending, one that makes you go, "HAha! Got ya!" They also didn't try to turn a 20-MINUTE STORY into 2 HOURS. The premise: A guy shows up at your house with a box that has a button on it. He tells you you have 24 hours to decide whether or not you will push the button. If you push the button, you will receive 1 million dollars, and someone you do not know will die. THIS IS NOT A 2-HOUR PREMISE. WE'RE WAITING TO SEE WHETHER SOMEONE WILL PRESS A BUTTON OR NOT. You do not add tons of superfluous bullshit, especially ridiculous BS that goes faaaar off into loony land, to try to make it into something that means more just to pad out your film. I can see one way to draw out the story a bit that isn't quite so loony, and it still wouldn't drag on into 2 hours. AWFUL, AWFUL movie.
"The Haunting in Connecticut" - A family moves into a house that used to be a mortuary. So, it's haunted. I really appreciated some of the ideas they used to try to punch up the story; they were cool ideas, but the movie was still slow and dull. Not much new stuff here. Modern horror movies need to stop equating jump scares with true horror. Having something jump out at a character every ten minutes to startle the audience does not make your movie scary! WHEN will they LISTEN TO ME. :D
"The Haunting of Molly Hartley" - The only good thing about this movie is there was a character in it named LAUREL for about five minutes. WOOHOO! Otherwise, boring and slow. I kept waiting for something to actually happen and realized in shock that 45 minutes had gone by. Eesh. It seemed like the entire point of the movie was to see Molly get startled repeatedly and then hyperventilate. Poor Joe from "Medium" who I love on that show, your movie sucked.
"Drag Me to Hell" - If it's any indication how much I didn't like this, the disc was in bad condition (it was SCRATCHED UP TO HELL) and I cared so little about the movie that I didn't bother sending it back to Netflix for a replacement copy, even though the scratched portion took up about 1/3rd of the story. Pbbbt, who cares. I thought it might have some potential until the old lady showed up in the dumb bitch's car and ATTACKED HER. Went a bit far for me. It just got stupider from there.
It's a shame, too, because the title's pretty cool.
"The Box" - ...... what were they thinking?
That should be all I need to say, but I want revenge, so I must say more. This movie is based on an old Richard Matheson sci-fi story from either the late 60's or early 70's, can't remember. They made it into a 20-minute segment of "The Twilight Zone 1980's" ("Button Button") which was far superior to this piece of crap film. Why was it better? They gave it a real punch of an ending, one that makes you go, "HAha! Got ya!" They also didn't try to turn a 20-MINUTE STORY into 2 HOURS. The premise: A guy shows up at your house with a box that has a button on it. He tells you you have 24 hours to decide whether or not you will push the button. If you push the button, you will receive 1 million dollars, and someone you do not know will die. THIS IS NOT A 2-HOUR PREMISE. WE'RE WAITING TO SEE WHETHER SOMEONE WILL PRESS A BUTTON OR NOT. You do not add tons of superfluous bullshit, especially ridiculous BS that goes faaaar off into loony land, to try to make it into something that means more just to pad out your film. I can see one way to draw out the story a bit that isn't quite so loony, and it still wouldn't drag on into 2 hours. AWFUL, AWFUL movie.
"The Haunting in Connecticut" - A family moves into a house that used to be a mortuary. So, it's haunted. I really appreciated some of the ideas they used to try to punch up the story; they were cool ideas, but the movie was still slow and dull. Not much new stuff here. Modern horror movies need to stop equating jump scares with true horror. Having something jump out at a character every ten minutes to startle the audience does not make your movie scary! WHEN will they LISTEN TO ME. :D
