Incredibly creative and witty subject line

[sailorhathor]

Marriage is love.

Where's indigo? Indigo discrimination! JK. I'm just curious why that color was taken out of the rainbow for the gay pride symbol. Does it mean something? Or just someone went, "How does that rhyme go? ROYGB... aw fuck it, his name is Roy G. Bv."

Gotten from kaijawest.

1. At the local grocer, you see an elderly woman shoplift bacon. Do you tell the grocer?

Bacon? LOL, why bacon? Anyway, nah. Not my problem, unless I work there. I've shoplifted, so it'd be hypocritical of me to rat someone else out.

2. Your name sounds foreign and is difficult to pronounce. Your clients and superiors are always stumbling over it. Do you change it?

ROFL, hell no! People stumble over my name all the damn time. If I can get a word in discreetly, without talking over them, I just correct them. I've dealt with it all my freakin' life; after awhile, you get used to correcting people. If someone can't remember "Laurel," I'd rather they just develop a nickname for me that I can answer to. (so long as it's not "fuckface" or something)

3. You need one number to win the jackpot at BINGO. The stranger beside you also needs one number and its been called. Do you tell her?

Probably not. Depends on if she'd been really nice and sweet to me or not.

4. You're cramming for a critical exam. Classmates are circulating a stolen advance copy of the test. Do you take one?

No, because those kinds of things tend to blow up in people's faces. I've seen it happen. Teenagers are horrible at keeping secrets, and teachers are not that unobservant.

5. Your spouse has become nervous wreck since he/she began day trading on the Internet. But he/she made $10K in a month. Do you make him/her stop?

Probably, yeah, because he'll eventually crash and burn from the stress and lose all the money anyway. Don't want my hubby all stressed out like that.

6. The house of your dreams finally goes up for sale. You take a tour of the home with it's soon to be former occupant, an elderly woman who's moving into a retirement home. When she quotes you the asking price, it is far below what you know the house is really worth. Do you accept her asking price or offer her more?

Pfft, accept her asking price. It's not my job to look after her best interest. That's what realtors and such are for.

7. You are on a safari with your bestest friend in the whole world and your mom/dad. While walking through the jungle, you all take a tumble over a hole in the ground. Your companions fall in while you fall just past it. In the hole is a nest of vipers that bite your companions. You are carrying the anti-venom but after the fall discover that all but one vial has been smashed. After pulling them both to freedom, who do you give the anti-venom to?

My best friend, because my dad is almost 72 and he's lived a full life already.

8. You dream that friends die in a plane crash. The next day they announce a trip to Greece. Do you mention your dream?

Yes. Just so they could make their own decision about it and/or watch for the signs.

9. Some friends are visiting you. You notice that one of your very valuable collectibles is missing. Do you search the coats and purses?

Oh wow... depends on who the friends were. If it was someone I trusted, no. I'd figure the collectible fell off and rolled under something, and look for it later. If it was a friend I didn't know that well, or someone who'd had a problem with drugs (all hardcore druggies steal from their own family and friends), I'm not sure how I'd handle it. I'd probably search their stuff while they were out of the room. Hey, I know it's cynical, but once you've been burned, you get paranoid.

10. You've just paid for groceries and the cashier is giving you your change. You notice that she's giving you far too much change. Do you ask her if she made a mistake?

Depends on if she was nice to me or not, and how much extra she was giving me. If she'd been a rude bitch, I'd take all the change and walk away happily. If she was a cashier I knew and liked, no, I'd give the money back. If she'd been nice to me, I would ask her if she made a mistake, especially if it was a lot of money over. I don't want to punish people for being nice.

11. You work at a bank and one evening discover that due to a clerical error, you could safely steal 1 million dollars from the bank and never get caught. Would you do it? What if you would never get caught but another coworker would be blamed?

I might, although I'd probably be too paranoid that I'd get caught. I'd need some pretty convincing proof that I could get away with it. If another co-worker would get blamed, no way would I do it. Also, a thing like this would seriously make me worry about my karma, like, how am I going to pay for this in other ways? It'd be a really hard decision.

12. In order to win 1 million dollars, you are told to walk stark naked down a city sidewalk for one block. No one would harm you and you could hop into a waiting limousine at the other end. Would you do it?

Probably, yes. It'd be embarrassing, but as long as no one could do anything to me, why not?

13. You are told that if you leave the country, taking only one other person with you, you will both be well taken care of but you could never return. Would you do it?

Depends on where they're making me go. I kinda like the US. But being taken care of financially is pretty tempting. But I could never see my friends! They'd have to come see me. :(

14. If by cutting off your pinky you could stop all wars, now and future, would you? What about your thumb?

No, sorry. I couldn't do it. I know I'd just sit there with the meat clever, poised and ready, and not have the guts to go through with it. If someone else could do it for me, my pinky, probably. Not a thumb, no way. But what does this mean? What if a particular country was behaving like Nazi Germany? Would we not be able to do anything about it because there are no more wars? I just find it hard to comprehend that every country is going to be nice now and forever because I cut off my pinky. I declare this a dumb question!

15. Would you rather have a simple and predictable life, dying among friends and family, or a dramatic life with major ups and downs, dying alone in an empty apartment?

Simple and predictable life. I can make my life exciting through my imagination; I don't necessarily need real life drama to make it happy.

16. If you could use a voodoo doll to hurt anyone you choose, would you?

Yes. I have a person in mind who needs to feel a little of the pain he dished out.

17. Would you accept twenty years of extraordinary happiness and fulfillment if it meant you would die at the end of the period?

Hm, to die when I'm 50... yes. That's what I say now, though I'm sure when I get to 50, I'll roll my eyes at this answer.

18. You have the chance to meet someone with whom you can have the most satisfying love imaginable, the stuff of dreams. Sadly, you know that in six months the person will die. Knowing the pain that would follow, would you still want to meet the person and fall in love?

Yes. I've always wanted to feel that kind of romantic love returned to me, so I'd have to take the experience, even if it would end in pain.

19. Would you rather be extremely successful professionally and have a tolerable yet unexciting private life, or have an extremely happy private life and only a tolerable and uninspiring professional life?

Huh. I guess I'll have to pick the extremely successful professionally life because whenever I'm at a job that makes me unhappy, I become absolutely miserable. My unexciting private life can be made more exciting and happy through my imagination. In fact, I already have a tolerable and unexciting private life, and I'm happy. :D

20. If a new medicine were developed that would cure cancer but cause a fatal reaction in 1 percent of those who took it, would you want it to be released to the public?

Sure, why not? What have cancer patients got to lose? Of course, they should be warned of the possibility of death.

21. You're invited to a cocktail party that turns into an in-the-buff pool party. Friends and strangers are present. Do you skinny-dip, too?

Not unless there were other fat people present, taking off their clothes too. I'm not going to be the only naked porker. XD

22. If you knew that by killing one person, all world hunger would instantly end, would you? What if the person was a horrible murderer? What if the person was an innocent child?

Depends on who the person is and how I get to kill them. Do I go to jail for it? The murderer, sure, unless I go to prison, then no. Sorry, but I'm not going to the joint if I can help it. The child, I probably couldn't do it, unless the kid was really annoying and whiny. XD Seriously, I probably couldn't kill a child. And if I have to kill the person while they scream and cry and beg for mercy, no, I don't think I could handle that.

23. If, for the next year, you could have the free services of a maid, a chauffeur, a gardner, a masseuse, or a chef, who would you pick and why?

I'd like to pick the maid, because I hate cleaning. But I'd have to pick the chauffeur, out of convenience.

24. If you could pick the sex of your child, would you?

Yes. I would rather raise girls.

25. To win 1 million dollars, you and your partner could not have sex with each other for a month, would you? What about 10 million for 3 months? 100 million for 6 months?

Yes. YOU DIDN'T SAY WE COULDN'T PLAY AROUND! Just no sex. XD To me, that means no penetration. Hey, I got an imagination, we could still have fun. Or if "no sex" means "no contact at all," there's always watching each other masturbate. Beyond that, it would depend on how much he could take and how good he was in bed as to how long we could last without it. But a month would probably be easy. For 10 million, 3 months would be a breeze! Time flies by anyway. Six months, though, would be hard. (That's not all that would be hard. ;D)